Claims
Just brought myself up to speed with the latest news about Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross ringing up Andrew Sachs and claiming Brand had slept with Sachs’ granddaughter. Leaving aside the general tackiness of such ‘news’, I wonder if I should ring up Jonathan Ross and say I had snogged his stepfather. This has the advantage of being true, though it was a long time ago and he wasn’t Ross’s stepfather at the time (but is now). I somehow don’t think it would advance my standing in the world…
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Wow, you’ve snogged all sorts of people! (wasn’t it you who said you’d snogged a certain bishop once, before he was a bish?) Sounds like your past is much more interesting than mine!
Yes, I confess it was I who snogged the bishop-to-be. But actually, my past is mostly surprisingly virtuous.