Today I went into London, to have lunch with my editor (as you do). Yes, I know I live in London, but when you spend your life in the suburbs and don’t get out much, going into proper London is a big event. So one of the things you see in proper London is a lot of billboards advertising plays, films, books and investment companies. Today I saw a poster for Kazuo Ishiguro’s new book, and the comments recommending it included: ‘Heartbreaking’. This is supposed to make me want to read it? Listen mate, I have had my heart broken plenty enough times in real life. I don’t need a book to break it for me. Anyone who thinks the description ‘heartbreaking’ is a positive reason for reading a book, clearly doesn’t know they’re born. ‘Heartmending’ – now that would make me want to read a book. But such books are few and far between.