Category Archives: Musings

Deep thought.

Feet

Lord knows how it came up, but I found myself yesterday informing my teenage son that ‘feet’ in the Bible is often used as a euphemism for ‘genitals’ (as in the cherubim: ‘with twain they covered their feet’ – and it gives a whole new slant to Ruth uncovering Boaz’s ‘feet’!) He thought for a moment and then said ‘Jesus washed his disciples’ feet’. Hm – a little Bible knowledge can be a dangerous thing…

Christian

One thing I failed to record when I went on retreat recently is that the retreat house had a poster advertising ‘Christian massage’. I booked one, but I was at a loss to know what was particularly Christian about it – it seemed pretty much the same as any other massage. Maybe the background music was actually instrumental Christian choruses – I am very out of date with what the up to date charismatic is currently singing so I wouldn’t have known.

Some weeks prior to this I had noticed on my Facebook profile an advertisement for ‘Christian holiday cottages’. I was equally perplexed. Can a holiday cottage, or a massage, believe in and follow Jesus? I thought it was only people who could do that.

Arbeit macht frei…?

The last four or five days have been uniformly grey, not only in the weather but in my mind. This morning I didn’t get up till 10.45 and consequently didn’t start my work till nearly 12.00. However (which is better than yesterday) I managed to get down to planning the service for Sunday, in spite of the fact that I didn’t have the ‘worship bag’ which has sample hymnbooks and all our resource materials in it. I got a lot further than I expected, because I had resources for Poverty Action Sunday and Homelessness Sunday, which we are combining this week.

By the time I finished that, I was feeling better than I had since nearly a week ago. Amazing how therapeutic creative work can be. Of course uncreative work, such as doing the washing up, can be therapeutic too, but it’s harder to get down to because one has to keep repeating it every day. When I am most down, however, I can’t summon the energy to do any kind of work. I just have to wait until the clouds begin to pass over. Which makes me feel pretty helpless.

PS The title for this post is of course ironic…

That w*rk thing

Have just discovered on sorting through my emails that I had completely forgotten being asked to do a cover quote for a forthcoming book on being an LGB Christian. Fortunately the deadline is still a couple of weeks away, so there’s still time for me to read the book. Judging from chapter one, it is going to be really good. Don’t know the publication date yet, so can’t give any further details.

I have no idea why they asked me. Unless they have found out about my lifetime habit of falling in love with gay men. Perhaps they just thought I would be someone who wouldn’t have a knee jerk conservative reaction.

Now that I’ve recovered from the summer and its various aftermaths (is an aftermath something you do to relax after a maths lesson?), I am beginning to get enthusiastic about w*rk again. Trouble is, I have three to four books which I’d like to be writing all at once! I’m sure this will wear off…

Meanwhile I have typed up two of the three poems I drafted at the weekend. I think one is almost ready to send to a competition. 🙂

Eaten

Something with which I disagree has been eating me in the night. Why is it that when you have insect bites, one or two of them always itch far more than the others, even when you keep re-applying bite ointment?

And another thing: why are men incapable of standing still when talking on a mobile or cordless phone? I watched a man on the platform at Edgware Road yesterday, talking animatedly into his mobile, and the whole time he was pacing to and fro, round and round. He must have made half a dozen circuits of the place where I was standing (never, of course, noticing me standing there). The Grouch does this too: if he talks, he has to pace. It doesn’t occur in normal conversation, just when he’s on the phone. Is there some mysterious gene that makes men do this? I’ve never seen it done by a woman.

Marvels

The first astounding thing about working on the Horrendous Piles of Papers (est. ca 2005) is how much of their content can be immediately tossed into the recycling basket. About 90% so far. The second astounding thing is how, when long unseen areas of desk are exposed, can they be so dusty? Surely the dust didn’t slink under the paper? These things are marvels the like of which we have not seen in our days.

Not in love

Something strange is happening to me. Having spent my entire life having unrequited crushes on one man or another, for the last few years (not sure how long) I have suddenly discovered I’m not in love with anyone. I think this is probably good (and I’m sure my husband appreciates it). But I also haven’t written a single completed poem in that time. Could the two be connected? Do I have to carry a hopeless torch for someone in order to write poetry? (Or is the dearth of poetry from me a gift to the world?)

Actually, I haven’t really written any poetry since I won first prize in the Barnet Open poetry comp four years ago. This could also be connected – now I’ve won a first, I’ve stopped trying. Or it could be that the prose and poetry workshop I went to for a while has completely killed my poetic inspiration (it certainly didn’t help it).

To return to the torch-carrying subject, it does sometimes feel as though I am having an unrequited relationship with God. But not always.