Category Archives: Signs of the times

Funny notices or news items

Fish pie not so tasty

So I bought the local paper, and hunted for the ‘Con man caught out by fish pie’ headline. The story turned out to be less interesting than I had hoped: apparently this man had conned £200,000 out of people by selling them holidays at non-existent holiday apartments, so the police were tracking his credit card, and nabbed him when he bought a fish pie in Tesco. There’s no getting away with it these days…

Dubious theology

Today was our ‘cancel church and visit someone else’s church’ Sunday which we have periodically. On the long drive to the church we wanted to visit, we passed ‘Our Lady’s Convent Church’ only unfortunately I initially read it as ‘Our Lady’s Corset Church’ which sounds highly dubious…! Then in our worship sheet instead of thanking God for ‘the redemption which is ours in Jesus’, it invited us to thank God for ‘the redemption which is our sin Jesus’. Oops…I think they need a better proofreader. In all other respects it was a lovely church, though nearly everyone was away for half term and we visitors made up almost half the congregation (it’s like that at our place sometimes too). And they stayed around afterwards for at least an hour drinking tea and chatting, just like we do… The music was led by a rock mandolinist which was refreshingly different. Hope they will come and visit us sometime in return.

Silly

Meant to post this back in August to illustrate the extreme silliness of the silly season. Two consecutive items on the news: 1) Man thought to have lung cancer turned out to have a pea or bean growing in his lung, immediately followed by 2) Council employee painted a yellow parking line over a dead hedgehog. And this was Radio 4!

Gooseberry bushes

I absolutely refuse to believe, even though I read it in Marie Claire at the hairdresser’s, that the founder of a sperm donor clinic in Copenhagen is called Ms Stork. Next thing they’ll be saying babies arrive under a gooseberry bush.

As result of said visit to hairdresser I am now blonder than ever. No wonder my memory is getting so bad.

Another thing I refuse to believe is that I actually agree with something the BNP has said. Apparently they want troops out of Afghanistan immediately. This is however not enough (and nothing will ever be enough) to make me vote for them.

I fear in any case that their policy on this is nothing to do with the fact that killing people is a really bad way to solve problems, and everything to do with their ‘Fortress Britain’ mentality. They seem to think we shouldn’t be in Afghanistan because Afghans are bloody foreigners and don’t deserve our help. (Not quite sure why this doesn’t apply to Iraq as well.) As a bloody foreigner myself I am not likely to agree. If the BNP find out I am a second generation immigrant they will probably want to repatriate me to Austria. Can’t be long before they go for the Jews…

Christian

One thing I failed to record when I went on retreat recently is that the retreat house had a poster advertising ‘Christian massage’. I booked one, but I was at a loss to know what was particularly Christian about it – it seemed pretty much the same as any other massage. Maybe the background music was actually instrumental Christian choruses – I am very out of date with what the up to date charismatic is currently singing so I wouldn’t have known.

Some weeks prior to this I had noticed on my Facebook profile an advertisement for ‘Christian holiday cottages’. I was equally perplexed. Can a holiday cottage, or a massage, believe in and follow Jesus? I thought it was only people who could do that.