The Bible note I read yesterday was on the feeding of the four thousand. Unfortunately the proofreader had slipped up and the title came out as ‘How many loves have you?’ Hmmm… a question to ponder….
Two consecutive Facebook statuses (by different people):
‘Through floods and flames, if Jesus lead,
I’ll follow where he goes.’
‘I might call in at the Crow Bar later’
So now we know where Jesus goes drinking…!
So I bought the local paper, and hunted for the ‘Con man caught out by fish pie’ headline. The story turned out to be less interesting than I had hoped: apparently this man had conned £200,000 out of people by selling them holidays at non-existent holiday apartments, so the police were tracking his credit card, and nabbed him when he bought a fish pie in Tesco. There’s no getting away with it these days…
…I just wanted to add that the other day I saw one of those headline posters outside a local newsagent and it said ‘Con man caught out by fish pie’. I really have to buy the local paper to find out what that means.
Today was our ‘cancel church and visit someone else’s church’ Sunday which we have periodically. On the long drive to the church we wanted to visit, we passed ‘Our Lady’s Convent Church’ only unfortunately I initially read it as ‘Our Lady’s Corset Church’ which sounds highly dubious…! Then in our worship sheet instead of thanking God for ‘the redemption which is ours in Jesus’, it invited us to thank God for ‘the redemption which is our sin Jesus’. Oops…I think they need a better proofreader. In all other respects it was a lovely church, though nearly everyone was away for half term and we visitors made up almost half the congregation (it’s like that at our place sometimes too). And they stayed around afterwards for at least an hour drinking tea and chatting, just like we do… The music was led by a rock mandolinist which was refreshingly different. Hope they will come and visit us sometime in return.
Meant to post this back in August to illustrate the extreme silliness of the silly season. Two consecutive items on the news: 1) Man thought to have lung cancer turned out to have a pea or bean growing in his lung, immediately followed by 2) Council employee painted a yellow parking line over a dead hedgehog. And this was Radio 4!
Of all the shops which might close down in a recession (and I knew that gourmet nuts and dried fruit shop wouldn’t last), the one I least expected to see a Vacant sign outside, was the memorials (ie gravestones) shop. Have people stopped dying because they can no longer afford to?
I absolutely refuse to believe, even though I read it in Marie Claire at the hairdresser’s, that the founder of a sperm donor clinic in Copenhagen is called Ms Stork. Next thing they’ll be saying babies arrive under a gooseberry bush.
As result of said visit to hairdresser I am now blonder than ever. No wonder my memory is getting so bad.
Another thing I refuse to believe is that I actually agree with something the BNP has said. Apparently they want troops out of Afghanistan immediately. This is however not enough (and nothing will ever be enough) to make me vote for them.
I fear in any case that their policy on this is nothing to do with the fact that killing people is a really bad way to solve problems, and everything to do with their ‘Fortress Britain’ mentality. They seem to think we shouldn’t be in Afghanistan because Afghans are bloody foreigners and don’t deserve our help. (Not quite sure why this doesn’t apply to Iraq as well.) As a bloody foreigner myself I am not likely to agree. If the BNP find out I am a second generation immigrant they will probably want to repatriate me to Austria. Can’t be long before they go for the Jews…
One thing I failed to record when I went on retreat recently is that the retreat house had a poster advertising ‘Christian massage’. I booked one, but I was at a loss to know what was particularly Christian about it – it seemed pretty much the same as any other massage. Maybe the background music was actually instrumental Christian choruses – I am very out of date with what the up to date charismatic is currently singing so I wouldn’t have known.
Some weeks prior to this I had noticed on my Facebook profile an advertisement for ‘Christian holiday cottages’. I was equally perplexed. Can a holiday cottage, or a massage, believe in and follow Jesus? I thought it was only people who could do that.
I note that an expensive silk flower catalogue that came through my door has a supplement under the title of ‘Summer Sale’. Summer??!! It’s March, for goodness’ sake! We haven’t even put the clocks forward yet! When do they have their spring sale – December?