Tag Archives: God

Not in love

Something strange is happening to me. Having spent my entire life having unrequited crushes on one man or another, for the last few years (not sure how long) I have suddenly discovered I’m not in love with anyone. I think this is probably good (and I’m sure my husband appreciates it). But I also haven’t written a single completed poem in that time. Could the two be connected? Do I have to carry a hopeless torch for someone in order to write poetry? (Or is the dearth of poetry from me a gift to the world?)

Actually, I haven’t really written any poetry since I won first prize in the Barnet Open poetry comp four years ago. This could also be connected – now I’ve won a first, I’ve stopped trying. Or it could be that the prose and poetry workshop I went to for a while has completely killed my poetic inspiration (it certainly didn’t help it).

To return to the torch-carrying subject, it does sometimes feel as though I am having an unrequited relationship with God. But not always.

A slight revision

I may have mentioned earlier in this blog that the first step in practising the presence of God is practising the presence of oneself: being fully alive to the here and now rather than always having our thoughts elsewhere.

Today I have discovered an exception to this spiritual counsel: in the dentist’s chair. Having ten months’ scale scraped off with some force is not an experience I want to enter into deeply at all. Can we change the subject now please?