Tag Archives: grey


I just can’t believe how utterly my mood is dependent on the weather. This morning it was sunny – and I felt good and got some things done. This afternoon it was grey again (like most days for the last – oh, about a year) and I messed about playing Solitaire (which I still call Patience – surely Solitaire is a peg game not a card one?) on the computer and listening to my iTunes collection. Even if I remember to put my lightbox on, it doesn’t make as much difference as proper sunshine, and since my lightbox is on my desk and you have to sit in front of it for at least 90 mins, it is yet another temptation to mess about on the computer all day.

Yesterday was a good day though, with lots of things at church seeming to be addressed directly to me (which has happened a lot lately), This was followed by two hours watching a series of ‘Dad rock’ programmes for Fathers’ Day on BBC4 – first archive material of Eric Clapton from the Yardbirds days on, and then a great programme on 40 years of Glastonbury (though I started to flag two thirds of the way through that and had to go to bed). The Dad in our family was bemused by all this since his interest in and knowledge of music is almost zero – it’s entirely ‘Mum rock’ in our house. Did I mention I have a fantasy of being in a band called ‘Mumrock’ and bringing out an album called ‘Girls Play Air Guitar’. I probably did.

Arbeit macht frei…?

The last four or five days have been uniformly grey, not only in the weather but in my mind. This morning I didn’t get up till 10.45 and consequently didn’t start my work till nearly 12.00. However (which is better than yesterday) I managed to get down to planning the service for Sunday, in spite of the fact that I didn’t have the ‘worship bag’ which has sample hymnbooks and all our resource materials in it. I got a lot further than I expected, because I had resources for Poverty Action Sunday and Homelessness Sunday, which we are combining this week.

By the time I finished that, I was feeling better than I had since nearly a week ago. Amazing how therapeutic creative work can be. Of course uncreative work, such as doing the washing up, can be therapeutic too, but it’s harder to get down to because one has to keep repeating it every day. When I am most down, however, I can’t summon the energy to do any kind of work. I just have to wait until the clouds begin to pass over. Which makes me feel pretty helpless.

PS The title for this post is of course ironic…